A few decades ago, my then-wife and I received a housewarming gift of two butt-ugly placemats from Hermes. That one gift begat my education.
01. Hermes is not pronounced Her-meez, but Air-may. Okay.
02. With no receipt of any kind, I went to the local Hermes store in Beverly Hills, California to return the placemats. No problem.
03. The salesperson said that, with no receipt, she would have to search for the price. She suggested I look around the store for an item I might exchange for so I did. A woman's scarf: US$1800. A purse: $4000. A cashmere sweater: I had to pull my hand away as though it had been scorched the price was so ludicrously high. Okay keep looking, bound to find something. A cash clip: $100. A dog collar: $195. For a dog collar! I found the placemats I was returning: $195...for one. $400 for 2 ugly placemats! My values and Hermes's prices diverged wildly. I would take a credit slip.
The salesperson returned. The store would issue a credit of $100. A conversation ensued that went something like this...
"$100 for one placemat?" I asked.
"No," she replied. "$100 credit for the two of them."
"But you have them right there (I pointed) for $195/placemat, $390 for the two of them."
"I understand. But you do not have a receipt so I can only issue a credit for the sale price."
"Have these placemats ever been on sale?," I asked.
"No. So we had to create a sale price. $50/placemat."
"But you have nothing in this store for under $100..."
"Your choice: Accept $100. Keep the placemats. Gift the placemats. Trash the placemats."
I took the $100 credit. She returned with a credit slip for $100. "Wait," I said. "What about crediting back the sales tax?"
"Without a receipt, we do not credit back sales tax."
I was floored into silence. I meekly accepted the credit slip and sulked my way out of the store. This whole Hermes thing is a giant scam, I thought. I would never shop there. But what do I do with the $100 credit?
I gifted it to friend a few weeks later. A Brit from London who had moved years prior to Los Angeles. He seemed familiar with the product; he was quite profuse with his thanks. He said he and his wife would visit the Hermes store that weekend. When I saw him agin the next Monday, I was excited to learn how their shopping had gone. He was not so cheerful. "Your gift has to be the most expensive $100 gift I ever received!"
"Huh? I don't understand..."
"The $100 credit cost me $1500 just to use."
Oh. In retrospect, I should have just gifted the $5/)-%# placemats, just like Christmas fruitcake that circles the globe from one recipient to the next gift recipient.
A comment not about Burberry but about brands...
A few decades ago, my then-wife and I received a housewarming gift of two butt-ugly placemats from Hermes. That one gift begat my education.
01. Hermes is not pronounced Her-meez, but Air-may. Okay.
02. With no receipt of any kind, I went to the local Hermes store in Beverly Hills, California to return the placemats. No problem.
03. The salesperson said that, with no receipt, she would have to search for the price. She suggested I look around the store for an item I might exchange for so I did. A woman's scarf: US$1800. A purse: $4000. A cashmere sweater: I had to pull my hand away as though it had been scorched the price was so ludicrously high. Okay keep looking, bound to find something. A cash clip: $100. A dog collar: $195. For a dog collar! I found the placemats I was returning: $195...for one. $400 for 2 ugly placemats! My values and Hermes's prices diverged wildly. I would take a credit slip.
The salesperson returned. The store would issue a credit of $100. A conversation ensued that went something like this...
"$100 for one placemat?" I asked.
"No," she replied. "$100 credit for the two of them."
"But you have them right there (I pointed) for $195/placemat, $390 for the two of them."
"I understand. But you do not have a receipt so I can only issue a credit for the sale price."
"Have these placemats ever been on sale?," I asked.
"No. So we had to create a sale price. $50/placemat."
"But you have nothing in this store for under $100..."
"Your choice: Accept $100. Keep the placemats. Gift the placemats. Trash the placemats."
I took the $100 credit. She returned with a credit slip for $100. "Wait," I said. "What about crediting back the sales tax?"
"Without a receipt, we do not credit back sales tax."
I was floored into silence. I meekly accepted the credit slip and sulked my way out of the store. This whole Hermes thing is a giant scam, I thought. I would never shop there. But what do I do with the $100 credit?
I gifted it to friend a few weeks later. A Brit from London who had moved years prior to Los Angeles. He seemed familiar with the product; he was quite profuse with his thanks. He said he and his wife would visit the Hermes store that weekend. When I saw him agin the next Monday, I was excited to learn how their shopping had gone. He was not so cheerful. "Your gift has to be the most expensive $100 gift I ever received!"
"Huh? I don't understand..."
"The $100 credit cost me $1500 just to use."
Oh. In retrospect, I should have just gifted the $5/)-%# placemats, just like Christmas fruitcake that circles the globe from one recipient to the next gift recipient.
The power of luxury brands and all that. :-)
Thank you for another excellent article, Conor.
This anecdote gave me a chuckle haha, really appreciate you sharing it, and thank you for the kind words. Grateful to have such great readers.
Very interesting article!
Thank you for the kind comment and for reading.